One11, When my sitch devolved to angry exchanges, what worked for me was setting a boundaries around what communication I would respond to. Communicating those boundaries and sticking to them.
I explained in an email we were both angry and emotional, and that I needed time and space to bring peace to myself. I would only contact her if an emergency came up. I would keep anger and emotional content out of our conversations. I asked that she respect this and do likewise. From my perspective no emergencies came up so I did not initiate contact.
When I received those emails and voicemails I did not respond. When I received communication that was important to respond to and were respectful of me as a human I responded to the extent necessary. It has not been easy, but at least I was able to abide by the boundaries I set.
This worked for me to shield myself and prevent me from escalating the anger. It did not defuse her anger. My refusal to engage in the argument seemed to escalate it. The escalation was her doing, her reaction.
This did not work to “bust” my D. It did help me keep my sanity and although it is speculation I think STBX wanted to record an angry response to use in furtherance of her cause. We live in a no fault state so the court would not care, however an out of control diatribe would have negatively affected my relationship with other family members.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
