Jenna - don't let this guy use you. If there are definitely OW in the picture then let him decide the life he needs - single or with you, but in the meantime you should define the life you want for yourself.
You can still leave the road home to you paved and smooth for him. In other words you can calmly tell him that you want to lead a life in an exclusive relationship and family. If he can't do that then he's okay to go off and find what he needs to do. This is very scary stuff because I'm sure you cling to the ML sessions and his flirtateous comments as it still being a bond between you that you do not want to sacrifice.
I don't think anything good for you can come from him playing the field and having you whenever he wants. You're at another place in your life and deserve to live that way. You can let him go and I think your best chance of him maturing, and coming to terms with his adult responsibilities lie in that path. He will never figure anything out if he can come home and get comnfort whenever he wants. This guy needs to grow up. The most loving thing you can do for him, yourself and kids(?)is to let him go and find his own being.
Look, I'm a guy who was married young so I can give you some real insight into how the other half thinks and feels. Don't sell yourself short!!!
