Hi Snodderly,

Thank you for your reply. I have been away from the board since last week and am just catching up.

For starters, I must admit that on these few encounters with my ex that I see glimpses of the person that I used to know I can see myself with him.

But in reality, most days I don't give him too much thought and have learned to live without him. Quite happily I might add. While I do miss having a nuclear family, we have adjusted.

There was an former self sighting today as ex took the kids and a friend's child that he was very close to before MLC out to a sporting event today. No, he did not bring his trash along.

According to the kids, they had the time of their lives and ex enjoyed himself thoroughly. At times like this, I miss that person. But I know that most things that come from his mouth equate diarrhea these days so I get my solace from that fact. LOL. I am trying to learn how to expect the unexpected from him so that I won't be knocked off balance too easily.

I used to meet with him once every few months for coffee or lunch until the divorce was finalized. We were still married and doing so to me was some part of standing. But I often came out of these meetings more confused than ever because I realized that he was getting what he needed from both the other and me. The security of knowing that he could have access to me to check the gauges on where I was in my life should he need to come back as well as maintaining the farce of his new life with tramp and friends.

I decided to stop meeting with him because nothing was coming from it other than my frustration and raging emotions. During our meetings, he was always very selective in what he communicated, lying by omission, and often rewriting history. I finally had enough and realized that I was grasping at straws and that perhaps he would be a permanent resident of the tunnel. The cake eating was very apparent as well. IMHO, if life was so wonderful with tramp why did he need to meet with me? I started limiting my contact to save myself.

Now that there have been a few requests to meet, I am not sure what to do. I am not sure that I can stomach it, really. Although, going just to watch the psychobabble up close and personal might be worth the trip. LOL

Mixed feelings all around ... LOL

Hope that you are well...
*Ever*