I feel for you. So sorry. There's just doesn't seem to be a good way to deal with the feelings on a day like today. Glad you're getting out though. On days like that I want to just shrink back and hide alone but have found its better to go out and be busy. I don't do it enough but getting better. Hopefully your learning curve will be faster than mine.
Now that you mention the "look you in the eye" thing, you're absolutely right. I've noticed that my W doesn't look me in the eye very often. But she certainly does when she's yelling at me and insulting me. crazy stuff. I'll remind you what I remind myself. The WAS anger does not define you.
Take care. One day at a time is all you can do (or one hour or moment, or second...whatever. Just keep going).
Me:45, W:45 S:16 D:13 M:22, T:25 Bomb: July 2010 Putting finances in order for "D" Continue to live in same home-separate rooms