Our responses to MLC vary according to our personality, and no one can live another's experience. I also understand that you have much to lose materially by leaving out of your own time frame.
Your h seems to be having a fairly unusual MLC, and that has given you the time to position yourself Many of us have an ultimatum bomb: in my case my xh up and left me. But I also feel at times that you are like someone pulling a bandaid off slowly - and in some ways it is more painful that way.
Can I be blunt and ask you if a little tiny bit of you 'enjoys' victim mode because you feel safe in that mode. I apologise if this is a harsh question, but I have been following your thread a long time, and there seems a strange interdependence between you and your h that permits his abusive behaviour to go on happening. Just a thought.
No-one free and adult has to be a victim: it is a choice we make. I know because I lived this mode in the first long months post bomb, and it isn't until you really move out of that that you realise it is like quicksand, and very hard to get out of but when you are free of it, life really changes.
