Too Little, Too late. 2

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Re: Too Little, Too late. 2 BklynMom #2211095 01/08/12 01:33 AM
Joined: Dec 2011 Posts: 825 Virginia P purgatory OP Member
OP purgatory Member P Joined: Dec 2011 Posts: 825 Virginia	WOW! I am feeling loved tonight.... thank you all so much for taking time to give me some feedback. Each person made me think of something, so if you'll bear with me, I'd like to respond to each: Advina said: "I believe those words are part of the self-justification. H just wanted you to understand how completely over you he was. This can change. Keep DBing and keep GALing." Even though I know you're probably right, I can't believe how different his 'decision' can make him. He acts as if he never had any care/affection towards me, ever.... like I'm just some annoying crush that bothers him. kolja said: "Also, maybe it's just a matter of personal taste but I think you're underestimating yoga pants. I think their inventor deserves the Nobel prize." This made me laugh... I LOVE yoga pants!! The problem is that I started wearing them all the time instead of jeans because they have stretchy waists. So my H associates them with being frumpy.... Im trying to show him that I don't see myself as frumpy anymore. rick said:"And with man anything is possible including finding you sexy again. Don't lose hope I know how easy it is to do. Get a new hair style wear red lip stick( I think most man like red lipstick) perfume. He def needs to say mean things to justify his actions. Smile and laugh alot. Hang in there I got highlights in my hair and I'm more aware of wearing makeup everyday, even if it's just a little to cover the bad spots. I chose a new perfume as my 'go-to' because I know that smell is one of the biggest memory clues, and I didn't want my old 'go-to' to remind him of the negative aspects of our R. *In fact, when my H moved home just before Thanksgiving, we ML and he even commented on my new perfume in the middle of it... so hopefully, there is a good feeling association with this new smell. I'm hoping the combination of these physical things, will start to make my outside more appealing- I know that I like what I see in the mirror again ces67 said: "And yes, I can still tell you exactly what she was wearing the day i "noticed" her for the first time, but it was who she was that I fell in love with. Still hoping to see her again someday." I can still remember what I was wearing and what my H was wearing the day I met him (I actually ran him over when I was running late to a class, not with my car but myself... I made quite the first impression!) I've actually tried to figure out if I could re-create that initial 'shock' of our first meeting. I had long blonde hair... 2 pregnancies have turned it dark red- go figure to make it blonde again, would definitely catch hi eye because it would be so drastic, but I can't afford the up-keep on a dramatic change... so I'm trying to find another way to 'shock' him again. BF said: "(can't believe how much weight crept up over the years.. especially when i look at pregnancy photos.. ugh!). everyone else has commented but not my H. i looked at myself in the mirror yesterday and thought.. wow! i HAVE lost a lot of weight! your H may not say it to you but you can bet he's noticing and probably checking you out too." My metabolism shut off completely after baby #1. I weighed the same as the day I gave birth for 4 years straight- no gain, no loss regardless of what I did or ate... so I had kind of become complacent and accepted that was just the way I would look.... but I lost my confidence. BF also said:"your H is right in some ways. when you become more more confident about yourself and realize how beautiful you are (without his acknowledging), it will radiate outwards and people can't help but to see you differently. so how do we get you there?" I want to get back to the confident person I was when we met (this sounds conceded) but people used to want* to get to know me. My looks got me in the door, and I stayed there because of my humor and witty comments. When the looks went away, I didn't know how to interact with people, I became a wall flower- and that's not fair to my H because he fell in love with an outgoing, people-person like him. I know my insecurities were frustrating for him because I never wanted to go out. I'm slowly pulling away from the wall and thinking that I'm 'attractive' again... hopefully more of this will change his view of me as well. Bklyn said: "A few months after my H dropped the bomb I bought myself some sexy underwear. I had lost 20 lbs so I needed and thought even if I am the only one that knows I am wearing sexy panties sometimes that confidence shines through." This made me giggle, because I did the same thing with my bras. I noticed that I had fallen victim to the 'get something neutral so you can wear it under any color shirt' bra... so I went out a got some with lace, flowers and bright colors. I've noticed that I feel sexier just knowing that I have sparkles under my shirt I'm sure that if H ever sees them in the laundry or peeking out under a tank-top, he'll think that I got them for another M... maybe that will peak his interest? M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12

Entire Thread
Subject	Posted By	Posted
Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	12/31/11 10:04 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	dbmod	12/31/11 10:35 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/02/12 03:12 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/02/12 03:59 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/02/12 04:17 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/02/12 11:01 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	labug	01/02/12 02:07 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	labug	01/02/12 02:10 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	workinghardguy	01/02/12 02:25 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/02/12 06:24 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	sunshine76	01/02/12 07:31 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/04/12 03:57 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	workinghardguy	01/04/12 04:10 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	labug	01/04/12 04:11 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/04/12 04:47 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/04/12 05:31 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	sunshine76	01/04/12 07:12 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/04/12 09:38 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/04/12 03:17 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/04/12 03:39 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	sunshine76	01/04/12 04:23 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/05/12 02:59 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	labug	01/05/12 03:53 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/05/12 04:07 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/06/12 03:28 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/06/12 06:46 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	Oneeleven	01/06/12 01:33 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/06/12 06:17 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	nhmom	01/06/12 06:32 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	DestinyUnknown	01/06/12 08:33 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	Oneeleven	01/06/12 06:40 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/06/12 06:53 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	stillhopin	01/06/12 08:16 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/06/12 09:22 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/07/12 03:10 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/07/12 03:30 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	Nblost	01/07/12 03:37 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/07/12 02:59 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/07/12 03:50 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/07/12 04:27 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	adinva	01/07/12 05:31 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	kolja	01/07/12 05:33 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	Rick1963	01/07/12 07:16 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/07/12 09:32 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/07/12 09:51 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/07/12 11:22 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/08/12 01:33 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	DestinyUnknown	01/08/12 02:31 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/08/12 04:08 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	DestinyUnknown	01/08/12 04:45 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	Hopeful321	01/08/12 06:27 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/08/12 07:55 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/09/12 03:40 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/09/12 08:55 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/09/12 05:34 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/10/12 01:31 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	MrBond	01/10/12 02:21 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/10/12 02:33 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/10/12 02:53 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	nhmom	01/10/12 05:34 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	nhmom	01/10/12 09:14 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/11/12 03:50 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/11/12 04:09 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	2thepoint	01/11/12 04:10 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/11/12 04:19 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	PERSEVERANCE	01/11/12 09:30 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/11/12 05:40 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	JamesG	01/11/12 06:00 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	kolja	01/11/12 06:31 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/11/12 08:47 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/11/12 08:57 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	workinghardguy	01/11/12 09:02 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	DestinyUnknown	01/11/12 09:57 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	kolja	01/11/12 10:02 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	JamesG	01/11/12 10:17 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/12/12 02:12 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/12/12 02:30 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/12/12 04:29 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/12/12 05:16 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/12/12 05:37 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	nhmom	01/12/12 06:26 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/13/12 05:16 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	kolja	01/13/12 05:56 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/13/12 12:02 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/13/12 10:57 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/14/12 12:28 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/14/12 02:44 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/15/12 05:39 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	labug	01/15/12 06:19 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/15/12 10:15 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	25yearsmlc	01/16/12 02:14 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/16/12 02:38 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	nhmom	01/16/12 03:06 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	25yearsmlc	01/16/12 01:25 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/11/12 04:11 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/11/12 04:27 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/11/12 07:50 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	stillhopin	01/09/12 08:55 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	kolja	01/08/12 12:43 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	25yearsmlc	01/16/12 01:13 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/16/12 01:31 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/02/12 04:14 AM

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