i think the WAS will say whatever in order to validate their decision. it makes them feel better about wanting to leave. their comments.. their "reasons" are really more about them than they are about you.
Based on what I've learned from my DB coach and what I've read here, this DEFINITELY seems true and very common. I think that's the point of emotionally detaching - it helps you keep from taking it too personally - they're in a bad headspace; imagine an argument going on in their head: there's PROBABLY some part of them that thinks this isn't such a hot idea and is trying to argue the point, but the part of them that is convinced this is the route to go is shouting the other part down, and the hurtful things we hear are the spill over from this internal struggle. At least, it's kind of helps me to think of it that way...
Me: 36 Her: 35 Together 7/09 Married 8/7/10 Separate rooms since at least April 11 "I've decided I want a divorce" 12/5/11 She moves out of state/files 2/7/12 Dissolution final 5/12