Thanks guys every time I go to my L's office I get upset. But it is less and less. I was feeling down today so ran some errands and went for a bike ride. That really helped. I have gained some of the weight back but not much. I am feeling confusion latetly. I came here because I wanted to save my M. Now I have learned that it is all about me and my D. Latetly I look at W and ask myself if I really want to spend the rest of my life pissed off at her. She is really a great person but she and I have changed. We like different things now and almost have nothing in common. We used to love doing things together but that died a couple of years ago.
I want a partner that likes to decorate paint plant flowers have a veggie garden go places and likes to ML. Is that too much to ask?
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I was feeling down today so ran some errands and went for a bike ride. That really helped.
It always made me feel better too...to take a long ride and get those endorphins going and let em' marinate my gray matter. Those long rides are good for us in so many ways.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
As I watch the news W is at the sink cleaning. She has become obsessed. But anyways as I listen to the news they announce that divorce increase after the holidays and to stay tune and learn how to save a M. I know she heard it. Can't stay to watch it as I am going to church. Maybe she will listen to it.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
On my way back home from church stopped at the store to have blinds resized. The 2 females helping me were gossiping about a female co worker. Who was to be M. But she could not as she was not divorced yet?
2tp W did not watch it instead she starting packing. Looks like she is not changing her mind. Need to GAL church help now at the club flying my models.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Yesterday I showed D how to make Cannellonis. She learns fast. She down loaded a receipe from Paula Dean's site to make creppes. The only deviation from me was to use one less egg. They tasted awesome. W thanked me this morning for cooking them and said she really liked them. W always liked my cooking. Really no change from her still cold and has not changed her mind regarding the D. I gave up all hope yesterday. I think I do it just to deal with the insanity of the whole thing. Specially since she started to pack stuff.
I go from wanting to save the M to wanting to leave it. Maybe I am going nutty.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
"W always liked my cooking. Really no change from her still cold and has not changed her mind regarding the D. I gave up all hope yesterday. I think I do it just to deal with the insanity of the whole thing. Specially since she started to pack stuff."
Maybe when she has to settle for Egg McMuffins from McDonalds she'll come out of her fog!
"I go from wanting to save the M to wanting to leave it. Maybe I am going nutty."
Maybe that is the point at which you have finally detached emotionally from your W. I think it was Busto who pointed out that it is when you are ready or have already moved on that the WAW finally comes around.
Either that is the catalyst or it's the Egg McMuffins!
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
I go from wanting to save the M to wanting to leave it. Maybe I am going nutty.
I think this is part of the process. At least it has been for me. To go from begging, pleading, and wanting to compromise our integrity to save our M to not knowing if we even want to be married to our WAS, it is a crazy ride. Patience, time, and perspective are all important in making the best possible decisions for ourselves. Best of Luck to you.
