Either way, this whole thing has put my sexual self esteem in the toilet.
. At the time, I chose to listen to all this because I was in shock and felt like I needed to get answers as to why it was happening. Now I look back and often feel angry at her for saying those things. It only makes the "mind movies" that much more vivid to me.
Oh I hear you about the 'mind movies'. When my FI and I first got together and the subject came of of likes and dislikes for sex he foolishly used his EXW in most of the examples and told me way TMI. I couldn't erase those movies from my mind and it damaged my sexual self esteem for quite a while too. It certainly bit him in the ass. I feel for you