People come to mean a lot to me and so many people here have become very, very special to me and will always have a place in my heart!! I won't name everyone for fear I would leave someone out!!! But I have a feeling that most of you know who you are, that have shared my trials, tribulations, growing pains, and escapades.
LOVE YOU ALL!!!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Quote: JJ could we possibly have people's thread's listed that have successfully DB. On one thread, something like this. It would be nice to go back and read their whole story.
Or would it be too much work?
Just a thought.
It would be nice in piecing section?!
Deb
And a great thought it is! I would LOVE to see a thread like that. I'll get one started!
However, "I" ain't gonna be the one to list these stories out!! I think that it's best to let each person do so on their own.
My thoughts behind this lay in the fact that each person has their own different perspective of what "success" is. Sometimes, it can mean small steps happening that lead towards progress in the relationship. To others, it might be a "final result".
For instance, if you were asked to rate your relationship on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the absolute pits, and 10 being absolutely wonderful, how would you have rated it before, how would you rate it now, and what "rating" would it take for you consider yourself to be a "success"? Would it take being a "10" to get you there, or would raising from a "4" to an "8", doubling your satisfaction, make yourself feel "successful"?
I, personally, see MANY success stories here on a daily basis that others tend to overlook. Especially those of us who are directly involved in the situation.
To be honest with you, I can't always consider my marriage to be a "success" when it comes to the "wine and roses" definition, with things being exactly where I would like them to be.
However, if I look at the "success" of our relationship as being a "process, not an event", I can see that some of the things we are doing now, things that we are "doing different" to have a more loving relationship together, will help make the "10" on the scale a great possibililty. One worth waiting for through the "4's and 6's and 8's"!
These are some GREAT successes for everyone so far!!
Don't be humble , keep 'em coming!!
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
Quote: if you were asked to rate your relationship on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the absolute pits, and 10 being absolutely wonderful, how would you have rated it before, how would you rate it now, and what "rating" would it take for you consider yourself to be a "success"? Would it take being a "10" to get you there, or would raising from a "4" to an "8", doubling your satisfaction, make yourself feel "successful"?
When I came to this board in late July '03, my H and I were living seperate again for the second time in a year. I had lived through the dropping of two A bombs and was struggling to get my footing back under me.
I'd say that in July of '03 my M/R was a 3, we were speaking, seeing each other, being cordial...but my H still had NO intention or inclination to come home.
Today, my H IS HOME and I'd have to say (although it kills me to do so since I'm the queen of pessimism) that our R is an 7-8. I can see that my H is 'back' in every sense of the word...BUT there are still rough days on my end and triggers that threaten my otherwise peaceful resolve.
I guess the biggest change is I'm no longer AFRAID.
I believe we are a 'success' and that we can get to a 10 IF and ONLY IF I choose to get there, but right now...I'm pretty busy concentrating on me.
Quote: For instance, if you were asked to rate your relationship on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the absolute pits, and 10 being absolutely wonderful, how would you have rated it before, how would you rate it now, and what "rating" would it take for you consider yourself to be a "success"? Would it take being a "10" to get you there, or would raising from a "4" to an "8", doubling your satisfaction, make yourself feel "successful"?
I, personally, see MANY success stories here on a daily basis that others tend to overlook. Especially those of us who are directly involved in the situation.
When I started Dbing in May I would say I was a big 0. Now I would say I was a 7. If H would come home I would be a 9, if he told me ILY and wants to make our M work I would be a big 10!
You're right, a success means different thing to different people. I think a success to me would mean that someone saves their M, that would be a success to me.
But there are others here that think that if they can get themselves back, that is a success.
If I could just find out who are success, I could do the research and link threads. So if you need help? I'm volunteering. I just need to know who is a success!
Quote: If I could just find out who are success, I could do the research and link threads. So if you need help? I'm volunteering. I just need to know who is a success!
OK, Deb, since you volunteered!!
There's a lady named Wilma, who seems to recently have some success. I think she posted mainly in the newcomer's forum, on her "Bedrock" threads.
Also, you can look up LeeP, who is a recent success. Most of her stuff was in piecing, with some stuff in the MLC forum.
Both of these ladies are just fantastic! It took them both some time, I don't think either of them thought they could do it, but their patience and hard work has paid off for them!
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
JJ, LOL I see you bumped up a few to me! So I hope you don't mind but I bumped a few too! LOL There is some awesome reading here.
OK, I'm up for the challege! I've got my Word up and running and having a blast reading past posts! This is great! Guess what JJ, I'm a Librarian, so I love research! And I have time this weekend to get it going!
{{JJ}}
Deb
Better make room, because next year I'm going to be on a thread for 2004 Success Stories!
My, Deb, you have been a busy girl! We will have to make you our new success story expert!!
Yes, some VERY awesome reading, a lot of good stuff buried down deep in the archives. I'm so glad you're digging some of them up for us! It's often tough for us to learn from other people's "mistakes", but more often than not, "imitating success" can get us to where we want to be even quicker!
Quote: Better make room, because next year I'm going to be on a thread for 2004 Success Stories!
That, my friend, I am very confident of!!
Thanks for your help with this! It's MUCH appreciated!!
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
Anymore assignments? I know wilma, but I see she is in newcombers. You can e-mail assignments to my willow12960@yahoo.com Or post them here. i'm runnig into a few on my own. Believe me it wasn't that hard! LOL
I think that it's best to let each person do so on their own.
, keep 'em coming!!