The more I read about your situation the more it hits home. My wife called me controlling and that I manipulate her to to get what I want over the years which in her eyes was always sex.
I am so far from controlling that I said how about you give me a few examples of me being controlling. Hmm, nothing to say ok, how about the next time I do something controlling you write it down and we can discuss it.
She did say I take care of the mortgage and general bills and that she see's that as controlling. Well if that is controlling I guess you caught me because 15 years ago I tried to talk to her about how we should split up the bills and at the time she wasn't interested in sharing a part of her income. I made 3 times as much as her at the time so seems reasonable I should pay for everything and she paid nothing toward owning the house, etc.
We have always had seperate accounts and didn't hear any grips so I just left it that way.
I know deep inside this money situation has always bothered me but I just sucked it up as part of being married.
I, just like you married someone that was very independent which was a trait I was looking for. I had so many friends that were with girlfriends that wanted their boyfriends on lockdown. They only wanted to spend time with them and that was not going to be me.
I have never been the type to be jealous, just not a problem I have ever had. I trust her completely and unless something comes up would never think she would ever have an affair.
I think what she see's as controlling is me dealing with life. Someone has to pay the bills, I would gladly let her do them if she is interested.
You have mentioned in a post that your wife has self esteem issue's. I think mine is finding her identity now and along with the depression is the real cause of my situation. I know I'm not perfect so if nothing else this has made me take a hard look at my relationship and how it can be improved.
What are some examples of controlling behavior?
M 42 W 41 S 10 D 7 M 15 Years T 20 Years Divorce busted
