Hey everyone, just stopping by for an update. Things have been really good lately. We even had an argument the other night about how to handle something D6 did...we both listened to each others' sides and came to an agreement on what we wanted to do. It was the first time since this started where I felt that W made an effort to see my side of things, yet still felt comfortable holding her ground on her side of things. A pretty big step, IMO.
We are heading back to CO for the holidays again. Funny...I will probably be spending anniversary of our original blow-up in the same room it happened in. Not sure how I feel about that. On the positive side...I didn't think we'd make it a year after that happened.
W usually writes a Christmas letter about our family every year to put in our Christmas cards. Last year I wrote it...she just wasn't into it. This year she wrote it, and I thought i'd share it here. It definitely made me tear up a little when I considered where we were a year ago:
"Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I hope you are all enjoying the holiday season. This year has been a busy year for us. H – H has completed his first year working in DC. H continues to be presented with encouraging words and prospects that benefit his career in the Navy. H’s work continues to impress his senior officers and one of the officer’s recommended H be given his choice of a new job in the area because, “he has already learned all there is to know about his current job”. If he takes a new job, that would extend our time in DC an extra year. He was also selected to be a Flag Aide for an Admiral for the month of January, 2012. While he won’t be traveling with the Admiral, this means long hours for him in a very demanding job, but will be great experience and will help his career. He has also been encouraged to put in for a position with a Seabee battalion for our next duty station. Each of these opportunities help H’s career in the military and he should have no problem making it to retirement. H has done well in his career and has worked hard to get where he is today. We are thankful that his hard work has not gone unnoticed. H plays soccer in an indoor and outdoor league with our longtime friend J, and one of their teams won the championships! H has gone mountain biking a few times since we have been here, but has spent much of his free time playing with the kids and helping around the house. W – This has been a busy year for me. When D6 went into Kindergarten, I thought I would have more free time since she’d be in school most of the day. However, the older the kids get, the more activities that come along with it. In between running the kids to school and all their lessons, I am also a full-time student at X University working towards a Bachelors degree in Paralegal Studies. I have managed to maintain an “A” average since starting and I continually receive rave reviews on my writing abilities. I’m beginning to question the educational standards of this institution! However, their compliments are encouraging and I think I might actually finish my degree this time. I have recently entertained the thought of going on to law school. I must be going crazy! Those who know me can attest to my disdain for school and are probably wondering the same thing about me right now. We’ll see how ambitious I’m feeling after I graduate. Aside from the kids, school, and housework, I find little time for much else. In my free time, I get together with friends whenever possible. I’ve managed to do some traveling on my own this year to Ohio, New Orleans, and Kansas to spend time with close friends and loved the break. It was great to get home and see the kids again though. The kids continue to be the priority of my life and we have a lot of fun. The kids and I are learning Russian together and they are doing well. I’m the one holding them up. D6 – D6 has grown so much and I don’t know how we got here. It seems like only yesterday she was learning to walk. We celebrated D6’s 6th Birthday this year at Chuck-E-Cheese. D6 was so happy that SIL, BIL, and their D were able to attend her birthday party. D6 has entered Kindergarten this year and is thriving. She is in the top of her class and is making many friends. We are allowed to go have lunch with her at school whenever we want and have taken advantage several times. We are very impressed with D6’s school. I was elected as a classroom parent for D6’s class and it has been fun seeing D6 and her classmates interact with the teachers and each other. She can read pretty much anything you put in front of her and she could spend hours writing and drawing. D6 finished another season of soccer and swimming lessons and has also taken up Tae Kwon Do. We are very pleased with her progress and motivation. D6 loves Tae Kwon Do and will not be satisfied until she receives her black belt. She passed her first belt test and is now a yellow belt! D6: “We will have the best day ever. And I’ll have fun with Christmas. And I am so excited to go to Colorado for Christmas to visit my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.” D6 loves to play games on the Wii and on the computer. D6 can now work the computer and navigate to her favorite websites on her own. Now if only I could get her to friend me on Facebook! Just kidding.
S3 – S3 is as cute as ever and makes our hearts happy all day long. S3 is potty trained…when he wants to be. We took a trip with H’s mom to NY to visit Great Grandma and Great Grandpa for Thanksgiving this year. S3 managed to go without an accident the entire time! Now that we are back at home, he has regressed a bit. He has days without incident and days where he refuses to use the potty. I know he can do it and also realize he will do it when he’s ready to make the transition. I can see a light at the end of the tunnel and I’m excited for him to take that step. S3 knows the alphabet, can count to 100, and is anxious to know as much as D6. He cannot wait to be older than D6. I have tried to explain to him that he will never be older than her, but never underestimate the will of a younger brother. He’s determined that he will be older and bigger than D6 someday. S3 also loves playing games on the Wii and on the computer. His competitive nature comes alive when playing games. The 3 year old comes out anytime he doesn’t come in first. S3 is also in Tae Kwon Do and is so much fun to watch. He is fearless and cannot wait to get his green belt and blue belt and red belt and black belt! S3 expressed an interest in playing soccer, so we will sign him up as soon as he is old enough…probably next fall. S3 loves his stuffed animals and is especially attached to Baby Penguin, Blue Angry Bird, Fluffy (horse pillow pet), and Circle Baby (mini turtle pillow pet). S3 is so cute with them, but rules with an iron fist. We have so much fun playing with the kids, teaching them new things, watching them grow, and learning from them. We are thankful for God’s many blessings on our family and look forward to all He has in store for us. I hope everyone has found much to be thankful for this holiday season and we pray for your continued health, happiness, and success in the following year.
Love, W, H, D6, and S3"
I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas...make the best of it no matter what your situation....for yourself and your kids, if you have them.
I have been so blessed to have found this website and all the wonderful people here...Denver, 2step, gritter, 25, Harrier, Jack, FOBD, mach1, cat, zg, LIS, CS, karma, sandi, and anyone I missed and everyone else here...thank you all from the bottom of my heart. The gift you have given me truly defines the word invaluable.
Things are looking pretty good...but no matter what happens down the road I know I am going to be ok. God bless you all.
So happy to hear that things are going well for you Navy! I hope that you have a VERY Merry Christmas too!
Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
I'm happy to see positive progress in your sitch Navy.
A very Merry Christmas and a happy New Year to you.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
I dont know what to think about things here. It feels like W has been Avoiding spending time with me and my family. And if I show any emotion about that, she gets pissed at me. W is still extremely self absorbed...acts like she's going out of her way to spend time with my family and that I should be grateful for even one second she does put in. It's just been excuse after excuse as to why she has to be over at her moms or sister's house since we got here....and I've even been willing to go with her....but here it is Christmas eve, at 9:45 pm and she's over there, and I'm at my parents' house with the kids. It just feels so wrong.
I hate the thoughts I'm having right now...
We'll see if things get better after Christmas. I dunno....this almost feels like a replay of last year...and she's going to throw all of her "suffering" back in my face.
I know I'm in a much better place to deal with it this time...
BITS M: 35 W: 35 T14, M11 D9, S6 ILYBINILY: June 09 Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11 W came home: 3/17/11 EE: July 2012 Dropped the rope: Oct 2012 Piecing: April 2013 Not piecing: April 2014 Stuck.
Navy, I have no doubt you are in a much better place to deal with it this time. I do not ask these questions for a response. How will you act? How will you respond, if this is a replay? I was to lost in my own drama to note yours very well last year, so I don’t remember what her biggest complaints were regarding this.
Some people will revisit places and situations to replay them, almost as if they have unfinished business or need to see if it will turn out differently a second time. Perhaps she needs to assure herself. Whatever it is you are a better man than you were. Show her.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
Navy: I searched out posts with "deployment" written in them and found your threads. I've read every single word. ( My FI/BF/EX or whatever he is now is deployed atm)
I really hope you come back and update us with your progress.
FWIW: You sound like an amazing father, friend and husband. I really hope your W can see this before she pushes you too far.
