Adventures in GALing

[AntoniaB]

Thanks exquisite and BeingMe...I have done meditation in a group class once a week typically since September, but I do not do it at home and need to discipline myself to do that, because once a week isn't really putting in the effort enough.

I've seen this psychiatrist since bomb drop, but I'm wondering if that's less effective than an IC at this point...the typical session I have will happen every other month, and I have 25 min., and I just speak very fast, because I'm on this clock, and it's costing me 110 bucks out of pocket, and then she has time to give me 2 or 3 bits of advice, and often those bits of advice are things like, "you have to drop that belief and find this one instead..."

Here is the irony: I know that it is such hard work to be such a high achiever that I rationalize poor eating and sleeping habits and such, saying "I can't be perfect at everything, so, so what if I got to bed super late and get up super late, or take naps, I deserve a break." Or "I deserve that rich food and I'm not making myself exercise if I don't want to because I work so hard at everything else."

So I am capable of NOT putting effort into something and have done it for years, and that something is my own health. When people have talked to me about my poor sleep, food, and exercise habits, I always say "I don't have time to care about that stuff" or "everything else will fall down if I focus on that stuff". I somehow see it as a tradeoff, fix one thing the other falls apart.

Probably that won't happen, though...and it's just a rationalization to continue the way I always have.