WHG, I don't know, but will children at this age be able to understand that the love you both have is now a different kind of love? And is your W prepared for the onslaught of emotions when the children are begging mommy and daddy not to live apart? My d, over heard her father having a tantrum about wanting to leave .... and she is still worried about this. She's in counseling but she still deals with it. She has asked many questions... "Will you guys stay together? I don't want you to ever live in different houses". "Daddy, you can't leave mommy because we are a family and families don't break up".
Even though h has chosen to stay and we are in piecing, my d is suffering the fall out of this. In reading your posts about your w insisting that she tell the kids this soon, I honestly don't think she is prepared for the emotional fall out that could happen. When the children have to start dealing with such adult matters, suddenly it will all become about the kids, more than her own personal wishes. Their fears will start to dominate her selfish needs and she may have to rise to that occasion or like my h, dump it all off on you to handle when it becomes too much.
I honestly wish I could have shielded my daughter from the knowledge that her father was going to go... because even though he hasn't, she's still going to deal with just that information for a long time I'm afraid.
