Glad to know you came away with some positives from the conversation, instead of feeling like you've been thrown under a bus. We have a close friend who married us and has been a mentor to me since I was 7 and his daughter is like my little sister.... I still can't get the courage to tell him.
I need to adapt your mind-set that her moving out 'might help her heal and forgive'. My H has talked about moving out, but today he confirmed that it will happen before the end of the month... I felt like it was another bomb being dropped on me. I logically understand that he can't *miss* me if he's not *away* from me.... but it doesn't mean I can actually live through it.
I find encouragement and strength from your sitch. You may not realize it, but your problems and solutions, inspire me... and maybe some others as well. Please keep sharing!
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
Thanks Purgatory, I really appreciate the encouragement. Our sitch's have some unique similarities. Your H will be away, you will both have time to reflect, heal & hopefully realize that the old R is gone... But you can move forward together with a new, better, healthier R. Your right, it was difficult telling our Uncle about the pending D. As the priest that married us and our boys' Godfather...he has always been close to our hearts... He was incredibly shocked and saddened. Afterward, my W said that Uncle X brought up some valid points & that she needed some space since the afternoon was overwhelming. I said no problem... Offered to help her with a few things & went to go hang out with the kids. I'm not sure if she is overwhelmed and having second thoughts or simply overwhelmed by breaking the news to Uncle X? I won't try to get inside her head ( too crowded) : ) Just keep on working on ME... The only person in the world that I have control of. Another ic Appt next week- actually enjoy it. Thought of an infantry term from my youth "embrace the suck" ... Really is appropriate for our sitch's. Take ownership of your problems and weaknesses, know them- then overcome. Don't let the problems and despair define you, you are defined by how you respond to the adversity. Oh well...rambling again Take care P
(F.K.A. Broken422)
US 40's M 17,T 19 2 BOYS 13,16 Divorced 4/2012 11/2011 W SAID SHE WANTS D
"When it is dark enough,you can see the stars"- Ralph Waldo Emerson
W just had a welcome home party for me. Nice time. 90% of the guests were unaware of the D. Didn't talk about R with W. Acted as if but very respectful and thankful for the party. I hope she is having 2nd thoughts. Miss her so much. No mention of R.
(F.K.A. Broken422)
US 40's M 17,T 19 2 BOYS 13,16 Divorced 4/2012 11/2011 W SAID SHE WANTS D
"When it is dark enough,you can see the stars"- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Lol. I'd forgotten "embrace the suck." I'm misappropriating that
Me: 36 Her: 35 Together 7/09 Married 8/7/10 Separate rooms since at least April 11 "I've decided I want a divorce" 12/5/11 She moves out of state/files 2/7/12 Dissolution final 5/12
As an air force gal I missed out on "Embrace the Suck". It being a joint world now I recently learned the phrase.
My sister's husband died suddenly 4 months ago. At the memorial a 2 star gave my 15 year old nephew a coin with that phrase on it. I said: "???" and my sister couldn't believe I had never heard that before.
Anyway, yes, let us all embrace it!
PS Keep those expectations at ZERO!
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
A lot of military, or connected to military on this board. Can someone please give me the meaning of embrace the suck? I am dealing with rupture of a relationship/engagement with my deployed Canadian soldier right now. I'm hoping it might give me some insight as well
Hey 1-11 I haven't ever heard the term "embrace the suk" but to my mind it most likely meant to suk it up and keep moving. So try not to dwell on the problem. Instead focus on you and your own well being.
Assess where you may have contributed to the problems you are currently facing and see if you can find ways to do things differently. Also, don't underestimate the importance of GAL. That is what I meant by saying focus on your own well being. It will help get your mind off your troubles and it will make you more attractive to the world.
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
don't add anything to the conversation unless you are asked and keep acting as it.
This advice is golden - I'm working at applying it throughout my life, in all my interactions and not just to improve interactions with my walk-away-wife NOW, but also to make it become a HABIT if/when we reconcile. I now see it as being a pattern that worsened things for us.
Me: 36 Her: 35 Together 7/09 Married 8/7/10 Separate rooms since at least April 11 "I've decided I want a divorce" 12/5/11 She moves out of state/files 2/7/12 Dissolution final 5/12
