Accept the wonderful lady that you are, accept that you are doing the best you can with what you have and forgive yourself for not been perfect.

Look at all the progress you have made after everything you have been through. You are amazing.

Maybe a few session of IC could help? You already know what you want to work on but maybe you need to find where it came from?
If it's in your core, something put it there.

I know you will find a way to beat this. You have conqueared many other battles. You can do this!