One other piece of this puzzle that keeps coming back at me like a greasy pizza after midnight...
This feeling like: If H spent even HALF the amount of time/energy working on a relationship WITH me, instead of fighting with OW (or even bothering to be nice to her for that matter)... we'd have a pretty good foot hold on where we need to start to rebuild. On one level, it feels like jealousy, ... yet, I know I'm sick and tired of not being allotted the proper priority. That's where for me, I keep coming back to. I truly question, even with the best of his intentions, if he'll ever be able to do what HE needs to do, to do the WORK he needs to do, to make US a priority again.
I'm not going to be satisfied with second best, or in the proverbial holding pattern where everything butts into the line ahead of me.
THAT is one of the biggest stone walls I keep seeing in my path. If anything I'm afraid to let myself believe I can be in a relationship with him at this point... simply because of this issue.
Strange. Abbey
T:22, M:20 H:55 Me:45 H-OW PA: N/07 OW Jan08 Bomb:Feb/08 S: Apr/08 Back together Ap1/09-Sept/11 Oct, 2011, uncertain future/H is a mess. Dec/11 - Doin'friend mode. Some days are better than others.
