feeling like giving up.....former DBing against OW

[imthemom]

Today has been one of those days that i feel like i havent had in awhile, although i could probabley look back on my threads and that wouldnt be true. I woke up this morning with the very first thought in my head of "he loves her, not me..he doesnt even care enough to hate me..."

Its been 5 months since D bomb...2 months since A discovery and im still so devistated, granted theres a little more time between but im still locking myself in the bathroom, turning on the shower and sobbing like im having a complete break down...i dont know how much longer i can hold up walking around on the vurge of tears every waking freaken minute...grocery shopping makes me tear up...there are days i just miss him, even though we had problems..i thought he loved me.
I think tonight its a sleeping pill and bed, under the covers...early...i cant take another night knowing hes a few blocks away with her...