Together since we were 15.

[Jenna333]

He just left. We did a lot of talking. He started talking to a couple of girls 1-2 weeks after leaving me. Ouch. Nothing serious. He hasn't even kissed anyone else yet (I believe it). I guess they aren't returning his texts or whatever, so of course i ask him if he's been so flirty with me because he's lonely and he says partly, but it's also because he still loves and misses me. I feel like I have a whole new wound in my heart. We decided not to flirt or sleep together anymore unless he starts wanting to be exclusive and commit to me again, which I'm terrified will be never again. He apologized for getting my hopes up yesterday and that he didn't mean to, but he's confused right now and tried to express his feelings to me, which only confused me.

We said goodbye for a while. He didn't want to walk out of the door and make it 'official'. It feels like we just broke up all over again. We were touching each other's faces, holding hands, and we kissed one last time. Both of us had tears streaming down our faces. He is firm in that this is what's right for us right now. He said in his heart, he hopes we can work it out when we're both ready to, but that we just need to be focusing on ourselves right now.

As of now, no more: flirting; sleeping together; saying things like 'I miss you'; no personal talk, only talking about the kids, bills, school/work schedules; no hanging out while he picks up or drops off the kids.

I explained to him that I can't be his friend yet, because friendship is a big part of a relationship. He was pretty sad about that, but said it hadn't clicked in his head how unfair he was being by asking me to be his friend.

I'm a wreck right now This feels SO WRONG. At least when we were flirting, talking, etc, I looked forward to seeing him and didn't feel too bad when he wasn't here. I know he was stringing me along (without meaning to), though, and that's not fair, and it's not real. I told him that if he gets to the point where he wants to try to be with me again, to let me know ASAP no matter what. He said he would. We agreed to reevaluate all of this in 2-3 months. He won't consider thinking of being with me again until at least a couple more months have gone by. He said he has a lot of anger to let go of. Regarding my treatment of him, his father's abandonment, and many other issues. He held his anger in for so long...it's been slowly poisoning him. He said he also needs to SEE me make these changes. Yes, I have started the processes, and I have made some changes, but school and work haven't started yet.

He told me he doesn't think it's a bad thing for me to have some hope for us, but to not focus on it. It does mean something to me that he does still love me, and he does want us to work out, deep down.