among other things, I hope you got the point about how valuable it is for
her to find out from her own research and her "Own team"
that she has fewer things coming her way, than she expects. That life will be harsher than she expects...
It often motivates the spouse to take a second look at their decision -- BUT that "rule" does NOT apply
if the source of the information that upsets them, is the other spouse.
Then it's competitive and from my viewpoint she'd feel cornered by you. And she'd likely bolt. I would.
As Kate Winslet said on The Titanic, "I'd rather be a poor man's lover, than a rich man's 'wife'"
(my translation of this, is that it's true - IF that rich man is a tyrant - then it's like being a well paid whore)
That's why she chose the pauper who treated her like a lover over the fiancee who wanted to control and own her.
You may want to save money and you may want to save the marriage
but information about the real world and how much harder it will be FOR HER if she leaves you is best paid for - so that it does not come from you. For one thing, you'll look controlling and "superior" if you are legally correct and "right", so you can't really win -
whereas by suggesting she retain counsel "even if just to reassure her of her rights" so she KNOWS her options,
then she MAY see you as gallant (& regardless, she won't ever be able to argue later on, that you "screwed her") AND then let her get the bad news about the single life, from her own L...
make sense?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
