Rick, thanks. There is no violence, criminal activity, alcohol/drug abuse, neglect, etc. I purchased the house before the M. W has told me many times she dislikes the house and does not want it. W and I have not discussed her L's request. The Ls can handle that. I want to keep our conversations positive because we are joined for the long haul regardless of the D because of the kids.
I sense that she is confused. I sense that she expected me to blow up, negotiate, beg, plead, or try to talk her out of the D when she told me about her filing. (I did none of these things and have not brought it up since. That is very difficult but is for the best.) I sense that she does not know what to do with the re-found upbeat and confident me. I sense that she is committed to the idea that what I am doing is too little too late. I sense that she is committed to the idea that she loves me but is not in love with me. I sense that she does not trust that the changes I have made will last. I sense that she has created a lot of inertia behind a D by telling her friends and family that she's had it with me.
My L says that because we are living together with the kids now and were sharing them before (see previous posts), that the temporary arrangement will be more equal. My W tends to hear what she wants and tends to be very idealistic. My feeling is that she believes she will get everything she is asking for at the temporary hearing and that I will be left with the scraps. When that does not happen, I believe she is going to have to wrestle with the fact that the D process [censored] (for both sides) and that her "new life" (post D) will not be the pretty picture she thought it was going to be when she made the decision to file. I expect her to get very angry at me and tell me that I am making things difficult. I am hopeful that she may also reconsider the realities of the D process. Not sure what will happen but I sense that being confronted by a reality that is inconsistent with her idealized vision of D process/the future is going to shake her world. It could get much better, worse, or be the same after. I remain hopeful but I do not know.
