Separated But Living Under the Same Roof

[workinghardguy]

Like my previous post, the question I wanted to ask is, why again are we getting D? We are getting along better than at any time during our M and a D will have a very negative impact on the kids we both love so deeply.

James... I know the feeling. I have the same feelings often. We get along pretty well 98% of the time. We are communicating more and better than we did before.

BUT... that's now. She hasn't bought in. She's still doing the D thing because if she stops then what's to stop you from going back to old you? What's to stop your R from returning to what it was?

I think in my sitch I realize this, but it's hard to keep centered on. Time + changes... and keeping the road paved and smooth.

Part of it also has to do with history IMO. If your W has divorced before or comes from a divorced household, then it doesn't seem to be that big of a hurdle. It's something that can be done... and undone. I know, for me, coming from a house that never had a divorce but where the threat existed for many years, it seems especially dramatic and painful. And quite honestly more dangerous and painful than it will really be.