Oh purgatory, thank you. Agreed, the detachment pill - where can I get one. I'll keep looking as well.
We live together as well, trying to keep our kids from knowing for now, apparently till I come around and she has more answers. My number one pain point is them. Just cant get my head around telling them.
I'm trying to do much of what you're doing as well. It is very hard. And when she's being nice the desire to talk about things is very great. I've been successful the last couple of days, but we also had the big blow up on Tues. Amazing how the roller coaster is hours and minutes and days and months. The emotion coaster in hours is crazy. So while that's going on trying to detach and look indifferent is a battle. The the coaster between us is odd too. Since the bomb we've had genuine hugs, even a kiss or two. But also plenty of negative interactions as well.
I wish I had more wisdom to share as well. I don't think I'm doing as well as I could be. I see the success in the DB things, but like the last couple of days when she's being nice, opening up conversations, it's hard not to reply. I'm a talker anyway, so I'm trying to not do that so much, but when the kids are around (every morning, every evening) it's difficult not to be engaged in the conversation.
Do you journal your conversations? I've been trying to do that. I don't really go review them, but there does seem to be something therapeutic about doing so. I've also done some coaching lessons with Laurie and they have been extremely helpful. I'm trying to spread them out though and not use them for coping, but rather advice on dealing with situations. The crazy thing is that even though they have been really good, it's tough to look back and be able to pinpoint all my successes with my W. Everything is a blur. More later.
