Wife Left (Part 2)

[workinghardguy]

A couple of things CO... first, go in expecting the D word. That's the worst that can happen right? So expect it and get ready for it. The D is not the end of this... you decide when you're done.

Second, go in with no expectations. Listen and validate. Don't interrupt, don't but in, don't refute. It is very likely you will walk away with an entirely different interpretation of what was said than your W will. You can't control that so don't bother.

Others have great advice about how it's pursuing and all that. But this one part of it:

Nothing is so different now from 7 years ago.

is also terribly invalidating. Nothing is that different than seven years ago? Maybe to you... but not to her. The difference is she feels she has spent the last seven years (or five or three or two... the point is some period of time) alone and in pain. And it's an aloneness and pain inflicted by YOU. This is not to say that's the absolute truth or reality... but it IS her reality and view, and that's all that really matter right now.

You are basically saying... "c'mon babe... the last seven years haven't been all that bad... why are you doing this?" And I'm fairly certain she's already told you that. This passage simply tells her you haven't listened.