Too Little, Too late. 2

[BFloat]

purg.. you don't need to have your own pity party.. just join me at mine! plenty of room.

"My emotions were all over the place. I'm angry that he's only thinking about his needs right now, nothing about what's best for the kids. I wish someone could get him to come around and see that staying in the house before a year away is best for the boys... but I am not the one to tell him. I don't want to 'convince' him to stay because he would only resent me and there would be no hope for us. Is there a compromise? Maybe he moves out for a few months, but agrees to come back for a few months before he leaves? Probably not."

i know this is so difficult for you and i'm sad you have to hurt so much (it actually makes me teary because i know that same hurt!). in his mind, there are no compromises. and most likely, if you were to try to "convince" him, he would do the opposite just to negate you.

"Why does he think he can only ever be 'happy' if he's not with me?!?! (I put happy in quotations, because I don't think he really knows what the word means for him)"

i think you're right. and since they can't seem to figure it out.. it must be us. it's amazing how they are able to convince themselves of this.

i'm so sorry i don't have the right thing to say. i can only share with you what i've been through. i am devastated to be in the position i'm in. that my perfect H could be such an a*$! every mon when my H leaves, i am sad to see him go.. but there is also a huge sigh of relief. because he's not here, i am not obsessing over his every move and trying to figure out what he's thinking. yes there are moments i cry from sadness but, it's easier to focus on the kids and myself and try to figure out what i need and how i'm going to change myself for the better.

i'm not trying to make you feel better. just a gentle reminder that you can not control what H does or say.. you can only control how you react and what you will do for yourself. something i need to remind myself all the time!