Been thinking alot lately about why my W remains so very cold. My only explanation is that her love for me was/is very great and she is protecting herself from more hurt by me. I have focused on her flaws for a while but that does not help me. So I have been digging deep and know I have a lot of work to do on me.
My biggest problem is anxieties and poor view of myself. Had an honest talk with my IC tonite. Alcohol has been involved every time I had an out burst. I said that in looking lback I realized that when an emotional issue was involved had been drinking or needed one. So alcohol has been a problem for me and need to work on that. Specially when I feel angry. It is the only way I would allow myself to act out. I have gotten angry when no alcohol was involved but controlled it. This change thing is lots of painful work huh?
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
