I'm getting some good advice just reading this thread 2thepoint.
I think the reason i relate to WHG is that ... although I'm not a fixer, I've always been ultra available to my H. I've always handled the daily stuff, taken care of most things he didn't want to take time for, and I've taken care of things quietly for h, even when he didn't notice.
When I started to put myself first, that is when h took notice of the changes in me. I remember during a heated discussion I told him, "I'm realizing that I never do anything for me much, and that I have put myself on the back burner all too often, but now this is my time and I'm going to start focusing on me".
he really did not know what to do with that... but it did make him start to really see me again as more than just his wife, but the autonomous woman he met, who was once exciting and out on her own... and then I began to re-create the mystery that once existed. This was one of my 180's.
I stopped doing most things for h, only thing I didn't stop doing was making his lunch most days, but for the most part I stopped a lot of other things he had always counted on.
