You see - the problem is, usually it will make the H rush to the "defense" of his poor traumatized OW. And let's face it, a separated woman who picks up a married man when she's on an airplane - do you really think she's going to have a conscience?
I only know of one incident when confronting the OW did any good. An acquaintance of mine found out her husband was having an affair with some young thing at the hospital where he worked. She went down there and read her the riot act - and the affair stopped.
BUT - she's a strong beautiful woman with everything going for her - including confidence - and the OW was a wimpy young thing who couldn't hold a candle to her really.
(I do remember my ex-husband talking admiringly about her feat at the time lol).
But unless you have reason to believe your H has told her some whoppers (beyond the ordinary "our marriage was already dead" stuff) then I don't see any good coming out of talking to her. And if she was the kind of good person who would back off and give your marriage a chance - well, she wouldn't be having an affair with a married man with three kids, now, would she???
