JustStunned as far my GAL I really haven't done much in that respect but now is the time to do it. I have many things I can do and many places to go. Yes I can forgings with my boys although it'd harder with my oldest since he goes out with his girlfriend and his friends. Yes there were good periods and I definitely remember who I was then. You are right that is who I should be now not just for show.
M 44 W 43 S 23 S 15 INILWY 9/11 Divorce Mediation started 3/13 June 30 the day W is moving out
Your mileage may vary: reading through various threads The 5 love languages Codependant no more Hold on to your nuts There are also web based articles on the livestrong site for detachment, boundaries, and caretakeing.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
Well it's been quite some time since I last posted and a lot has happened since then. I was feeling fine up until this past Saturday. Four days after my last post I went out some friends for the night and had a very good time. Some point after I got home which was @ 1:30 my buddy sent me a text about his sisters girlfriend who was out with us (I don't remember the context of the text but he was joking around) I never saw the text until sometime later that morning. Sunday was a good day. Monday night the W and I went food shopping together and on the ride over to the store she proceeds to ask me what is going on with us. She asks if I am going to save up money and move out of the house after our S trip to Europe in July/Aug. I very politely tell her no I am not moving out of the house. She dropped the subject after my answer.
Tuesday everything seemed fine until she was leaving to go to the gym when I told her I was going out with a friend from work on Wed night. My wife started with why are you going out all the time now? You went out Sat night now you are going out Wed night and you are supposed to be going out to a poker tournament on Sat (1/14). You used to be a hermit and now you are going out. then she hits me with who is "K" (name witheld)? I had no idea what she was talking about until she told me she heard my phone go off on that Sat night I went out with my friends so she checked it. I told her who it was and she had met this girl before and that my buddy was just joking around. So I asked her if she thought I was seeing someone, which I'm not and don't want to and she told me she doesn't care if I am.
Wed night I went out with my friend and we had a good time but come Thursday when she gets home from work she is mad that I had gone out and spent $40 and says I probably didn't go out with someone from work. I just let it go. So Thursday night my W says that she has a demonstration that she wants to go to on Sat night and that I need to be home with our son. I so ok fine I wasn't going to the poker tournament anyway all I was planning on doing was going to my friends to watch football but I will stay home.
At some point on Sat her plans have changed and she is going over to her girlfriends house and they are going to go to the airport to see the W brother who was on a layover. well during that conversation she tells me that one of her brothers offered her a place to move to if she wanted. I asked her what she was going to do and she said she wasn't sure. She said she didn't want to move to far from her father in case he needs her in the middle of the night (he's 81 and not in the best of health)and she doesn't want to be away from our youngest S. Again she says it's over between us,how many times do we have to try, we don't get along, we both deserve to be happy with other people and the one that really hurt me was you made you're bed now you are going to lie in it, you used to tell me that if I ever walked out the door you wouldn't cry and that it would be over. Then she turns to look at me to see if I am crying and of course my eyes were welling up. So she ended up going out and my S spent the night at his friends house and I went to my buddies house to watch football but on the ride over I found myself crying and very upset over what was said that day.
Yesterday was uneventful. My W went to see her sister and went to dinner with her while I took our S to his basketball game and came home and watched football alone.
Today started out very bad as I'm off work today and was in bed while the W was getting ready for work she did not say one word to me it felt very cold. So she mumbles goodbye to me and of course after she is gone it just all hits me again and I start crying.
At this point I don't know what to do, It seems as though my GAL activities are making her mad. Is it really the right thing to follow what Hopeful321 pasted? I was the husband who wasn't very loving or supportive. I could really use some advice here especially from 25 or Sandi.
Sorry this is so long winded. I need to journal daily.
M 44 W 43 S 23 S 15 INILWY 9/11 Divorce Mediation started 3/13 June 30 the day W is moving out
Thank you Rick. A 2x4 is what I need. I need to regain my strength back and not let her words hurt me. I got you on the neediness especially since she knows I don't want a D. My W can be tough at times and has said some things that really hurt but I know I have to shrug it off and not go back at her so that there is one 180 for me. Hopefully one day I will have your strength. Thanks
M 44 W 43 S 23 S 15 INILWY 9/11 Divorce Mediation started 3/13 June 30 the day W is moving out
Well today has turned out to be an interesting day. When my W got home from work she informed me that at the end of Feb she is probably moving in with her brother but its not set in stone. She started crying when she said she didn't know what she was going to tell our S14. She told me we need to go our separate ways. I thought I handled it well. I told her ok if that's what you really want Ill even help you move. Don't know if it was the right thing to day nut truth be told I would help even though its not what I really want. Thoughts
M 44 W 43 S 23 S 15 INILWY 9/11 Divorce Mediation started 3/13 June 30 the day W is moving out
