And to add.. (I can't seem to edit my posts sorry)

I could get passed the cheating only if we started on a brand new note.

We really need a fresh start. Put away the engagement ring. Live together for a while. Fall in love again (if that is possible)

Therefore I could also put the "cheating" in the past with the failed part of our togetherness.

I couldn't just pretend it didn't happen though. We would need to talk about it at some point.

The army offers a relationship rescue course to couples after deployments. If we stay together I am going to ask P if he will attend for us.