I don't think that you not being married really has anything to do with you not getting posts.
DB'ing can be done in almost any situation. Work, dating, marriage... whatever.
The main question that pops into my head when I read all this is..
Is this really what you want or are you just "loving" who he was back when you started dating?
Separate yourself from the situation as much as you can and really think about the answer you might post.
Second question would be...
Is him cheating a deal-breaker for you?
This must be a yes or no answer. Understand the choices behind yes or no.
Lets start with that.
Thanks for the response and good question.
And I will say that depends and that depends...
If he is going through changes because of his tour of duty, in other words, projecting badly towards me as he is angry, depressed, etc.. for being over there AND he wants to change this, realizes it, and admits it when he gets home, then YES, absolutely, I will stick by him and go through this difficult stage of life with him as much as possible.
And kind of the same sentiments for cheating. I have no concrete proof he's had a PA. And I don't even know of the extent of his EAs. I only have an idea from the strange Skype adds and dating sites. BUT.. I still consider what he did a form of cheating. My ability to get passed that would depend on how he is when he gets back.
If he is still the same towards me (horrible) when he gets back, we don't have a marriage certificate, nor children holding us together. I am afraid there won't be room to hold on anymore and we will be over.
If he gets back and softens and this alien leaves his body, or I at least get some sort of confirmation that he still wishes to be with me in some small way, then we can go from there.
I have changes to do too. And this is partially why I am on this board. I have found so many great tips on how to make those changes in myself. I am a pretty combative person and haven't been the best always in this relationship too. I just wanted to put that out that.
But long and the short of it... I love him very, very much but it's very hard to end that without seeing our dynamics in person, in our own home, amongst our belongings in a 'normal' situation.
