Good answer for #1....and his portrayal of the marriage is definitely script fog behavior....
The #2 answer bothers me....I asked YOU how YOU felt about how you were as a spouse. But you then go into how your husband felt about everything. It started out good with admitting you weren't trying...and as those unlucky enough on this board know...marriage is constant work and when you stop trying and doing the work bad things happen.
The next paragraph really has me confused. First, most of the couples I know would consider once a week a blessing, but in reality it is up to the couple to find that balance. If one person wants it everyday and the other once a week...then once a week is it. That is life regretfully. But then you go into expressing yourself (bravo) in that you didn't feel special or cherished....and that upset your husband enough that you apologized. Why would you apologize for how you feel/felt?
The vicious circle of not working on the marriage hard enough....and the empty feeling that comes about from that cycle. Remember that cycle...and whatever happens down the road with your husband or another relationship....remember it takes work and learn from the past so you don't relive it.
The last two paragraphs.....Do you think that is a change in your overall relationship or just a change in how you are going about the relationship and he is reaping the fruits? As for the OW knowing about the quasi-sex, of course she does not know because she would drop him like a rotten tomato. For my friend I mentioned above, her husband had setup an affair and communication routine with her prior to her leaving so his girlfriend wouldn't know. He was getting the milk without taking care of the herd so to speak.
In the end though Nblost...I want to know more about YOU....not about him or his feelings on how the marriage was. I even would like to hear what you want out of a marriage?
