Last summer when H was constantly telling me that he wanted to be free and have his space, it occurred to me that maybe I should just leave the bedroom. I was really afraid to do this, because I thought it might widen the gap further between us. A part of me felt that if I just stayed in our bed, it would kind of hold us together somehow.
I decided to go ahead one evening and make a palette on the sofa and leave our bedroom. When he came in, he asked what I was doing and I just told him I felt it would be good if we had some space. At first he was a little surprised. I don't think he was expecting this. He turned and went on back to our bedroom... but after a couple weeks of this, he came to me and said that he didn't mind sharing the bed with me, and that I could come in there where it was comfortable and that he'd take the sofa. So i took him up on the offer. He slept a couple nights on the sofa and came back to our bed on his own.
Later on, when things began settling down he shared with me that my leaving our bed did upset him and made him start thinking about things, and his life without me.
Just throwing this out there as something to think on. Not saying that is what would happen in your situation... but maybe your relocation to new sleeping quarters would give her something to ponder. Boldly take that option for yourself, rather than give her the choices?
