I enjoy talking to Kirby Girl quite a bit. Where my W could be really uptight and critical, KG is mellow and welcoming. She has been encouraging me to loosen up and let go of my stinkin'-thinkin' ways.
I've still been working out pretty regularly -- I hit several muscle areas a couple of different times a week, and I alternate between jogging and walking almost every day. My strength and stamina are improving. I look in the mirror and feel really good about my body, which is something that I couldn't say before.
I've also been getting into men's fashion. For years, I was a pretty simple "T-shirt & jeans" kind of guy. Now I'm looking more at nice button-up shirts, dress slacks, sport coats, and ties. You won't catch me as a model in GQ or Esquire, but I'm starting to look snappier than I did. I can't explain it -- updating my wardrobe just makes me feel better. (I bought a lot of great clothes at marked-down prices at the mall with X-mas cash, but I found out that Goodwill has a lot of perfectly good clothing for dirt-cheap, too.)
Today, I managed to refinance my car into only my name. Not only did I get my interest percentage reduced, my required monthly payment went down $50. Good to know I've got some extra money to spare if I need it.
I also met with my C again today. We talked about how my OCD affected my R, my W's caustic behaviors, and how much I distanced myself from my family / based far too much of my life & worth on my W when we were still together. C says that she doesn't believe that a new R with W would stand a chance because both of us will have changed so much as people. I'm still keeping my mind open but will admit that my optimism for a solid recon has diminished much. A lot would have to change before I could consider working things out with W. Perhaps someone else might be a better fit for me. We will see.
C suggested that I continue exploring who I am as an individual, a process that she considered "taking back parts" of myself that I gave to W. I too recognize this as my primary goal and will continue to do so.
