Is There Hope?

[purgatory]

I would advise against asking H to stay in the house. I would highly recommend going dark. If you don't have any kids or serious home/health concerns- then you shouldn't have a reason to talk to him. I know *you* want the answers now- even if he's thought about it, he might not be ready to talk about that subject. If you push him to talk about it, you are almost guaranteed not to get a response that you like (because he would feel pressured to discuss.) If *he* brings it up, you need to have your thoughts already together, so you don't get flustered with your sad emotions. If you do end up having to talk, keep your composure and dignity in tact. (he will most likely be looking for you to break down in a puddle of tears, and by acting opposite, you take the wind out of his sails and he will have to re-approach his game plan.) I talk too much sometimes... my point is, for you to remain in control of your feelings while talking with him, so he doesn't think he can get the upper hand on you.

Now that being said, you are more than allowed to cry your eyes out, scream and vent... not in front of him. That's what these boards are for You will find many of us screaming everyday!

I hear anxiety in your post. Breath in, breath out. Slow down. You will get the answers that you need, but wait for the time to present itself. A lot can change in 2 months... he might get bored with OW. You might change how you feel. You both are subject to change... so wait it out.