Too Little, Too late. 2

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Re: Too Little, Too late. 2 BklynMom #2210418 01/05/12 04:07 AM
Joined: Dec 2011 Posts: 825 Virginia P purgatory OP Member
OP purgatory Member P Joined: Dec 2011 Posts: 825 Virginia	Sun & Bklyn, thanks for coming by to visit me today- I wish I had known you were coming, I would have made some tea and cookies I've actually left all the trip stuff right where he put it, kinda waiting to see if he puts things away or mentions it again to me... I don't want to immediately put things away because then I"m just falling into his expectations of me. Very interesting events happened today... Driving home from the airport (dropping him mom off off) H expresses his frustration with me about the plans for S5 b-day party. Nothing worth going into details about... but it led to me expressing how I feel that he has been angry/frustrated with me since he got back and it's affecting every interaction we've been having (I was calm and matter-of-fact.) H got defensive: "I don't see how you could feel like that, I have only been home 2 days and I haven't even been around you that much." (kinda my point- he avoided me like the plague) Anyways... conversation went on and I pointed out some examples of him being rude and/or snippy with me and even made a point of showing him that he was doing to me what I used to do to him that he hated... I KNOW that this goes against DB, but I just needed to get that off my chest. It's interesting how we have changed roles in discussions. It's almost as if he's punishing me and doing it just to get back at me- because I know this is not his authentic self {side note} I've read on several forums, that the WAS goes through a phase of anger towards the LBS. Partly because they are disappointed that it took walking away for the changes to take place (but the silver lining to that is that they have noticed the changes in order to get mad) and the other part is an ager/frustration because things are going the way they planned. It's had for me to judge which one my H is falling into-or if he is genuinely pi$$ed at me for something....any ideas?? Now, back to our regularly scheduled program.... We didn't talk for the rest of the evening until he came home from the gym at 8 (I should note that he has come home from the gym at precisely 8pm for the last year, so I guess this is a positive given our current sitch- he's not going out to a bar or worse.) I had gotten him his favorite drink from the corner store and left it with a note in the fridge. (Now I might be criticized for this part, but it's a 180 for me) The note said: 'I need to work on my timing, sorry about earlier. I know you are frustrated with a lot at work right now and I shouldn't have added to it." Can you guess what happened next??? Wait for it.... He said "thanks for the [drink] babe." Then he walked over to the couch and sat beside me and GAVE ME A HUG!!! God could have taken me then and I would have died a happy woman (of course I'm exaggerating) but it was so amazing that he reached out to me as a gesture of thanks (btw, his love language is physical touch- so i KNOW that his action was a big step!) But that's not all folks.... I had rented a movie (Warrior because I really wanted to see it, but I also knew that it would peak H's interest) I had already started it when he got home, but it was only 15 minutes into it. He asked me what it was about and said that he wasn't in the mood for getting pulled into a movie- so his plan was to play on his computer then go to bed. That statement was made at 7:45, flash forward to 10pm and where is H?? Next to me (well, other end of the couch) watching the entire movie!! I am trying really hard not to get hopes up or too excited (too late I think!!) but I am taking these small actions as a win, especially after he was so angry with me this afternoon. Questions: Has anyone experienced this with their WAS? They are so angry with you, with no apparent reason. I'm trying not to think that it's me and just brush it off because he's going through his own demons right now... but then he shows affection towards me when I apologize to him (like I said, me acknowledging/apologizing is a complete 180 for me. I used to hold a grudge until he apologized first... that makes me sick to my stomach because I can't ever imagine doing that now.) A little excited, a little confused.... but mostly giddy because I got a hug!!!! M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12

Entire Thread
Subject	Posted By	Posted
Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	12/31/11 10:04 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	dbmod	12/31/11 10:35 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/02/12 03:12 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/02/12 03:59 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/02/12 04:17 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/02/12 11:01 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	labug	01/02/12 02:07 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	labug	01/02/12 02:10 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	workinghardguy	01/02/12 02:25 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/02/12 06:24 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	sunshine76	01/02/12 07:31 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/04/12 03:57 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	workinghardguy	01/04/12 04:10 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	labug	01/04/12 04:11 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/04/12 04:47 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/04/12 05:31 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	sunshine76	01/04/12 07:12 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/04/12 09:38 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/04/12 03:17 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/04/12 03:39 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	sunshine76	01/04/12 04:23 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/05/12 02:59 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	labug	01/05/12 03:53 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/05/12 04:07 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/06/12 03:28 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/06/12 06:46 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	Oneeleven	01/06/12 01:33 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/06/12 06:17 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	nhmom	01/06/12 06:32 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	DestinyUnknown	01/06/12 08:33 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	Oneeleven	01/06/12 06:40 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/06/12 06:53 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	stillhopin	01/06/12 08:16 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/06/12 09:22 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/07/12 03:10 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/07/12 03:30 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	Nblost	01/07/12 03:37 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/07/12 02:59 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/07/12 03:50 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/07/12 04:27 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	adinva	01/07/12 05:31 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	kolja	01/07/12 05:33 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	Rick1963	01/07/12 07:16 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/07/12 09:32 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/07/12 09:51 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/07/12 11:22 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/08/12 01:33 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	DestinyUnknown	01/08/12 02:31 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/08/12 04:08 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	DestinyUnknown	01/08/12 04:45 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	Hopeful321	01/08/12 06:27 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/08/12 07:55 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/09/12 03:40 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/09/12 08:55 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/09/12 05:34 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/10/12 01:31 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	MrBond	01/10/12 02:21 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/10/12 02:33 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/10/12 02:53 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	nhmom	01/10/12 05:34 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	nhmom	01/10/12 09:14 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/11/12 03:50 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/11/12 04:09 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	2thepoint	01/11/12 04:10 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/11/12 04:19 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	PERSEVERANCE	01/11/12 09:30 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/11/12 05:40 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	JamesG	01/11/12 06:00 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	kolja	01/11/12 06:31 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/11/12 08:47 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/11/12 08:57 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	workinghardguy	01/11/12 09:02 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	DestinyUnknown	01/11/12 09:57 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	kolja	01/11/12 10:02 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	JamesG	01/11/12 10:17 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/12/12 02:12 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/12/12 02:30 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/12/12 04:29 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/12/12 05:16 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/12/12 05:37 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	nhmom	01/12/12 06:26 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/13/12 05:16 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	kolja	01/13/12 05:56 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/13/12 12:02 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/13/12 10:57 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	ces67	01/14/12 12:28 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/14/12 02:44 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/15/12 05:39 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	labug	01/15/12 06:19 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/15/12 10:15 PM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	25yearsmlc	01/16/12 02:14 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/16/12 02:38 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	nhmom	01/16/12 03:06 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	25yearsmlc	01/16/12 01:25 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BklynMom	01/11/12 04:11 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/11/12 04:27 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	BFloat	01/11/12 07:50 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	stillhopin	01/09/12 08:55 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	kolja	01/08/12 12:43 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	25yearsmlc	01/16/12 01:13 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/16/12 01:31 AM
Re: Too Little, Too late. 2	purgatory	01/02/12 04:14 AM

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