Retrouvaille is not divorce counseling; it is focused solely on helping struggling couples rediscover each other and find new ways to express themselves and communicate. So if he's only going to make the divorce more amicable, they're not going to help with that.
On the other hand, there are couples who have attended Retrouvaille weekends while unsure if they wanted to work on the marriage (or very sure they did not) and found their love for each other rekindled.
I realize your weekend is next week and you need to make a decision now. If you don't think you can afford it or that he will be unreceptive to it, you might talk to the organizing couple so that a slot does not go unused. Retrouvaille is always something that can be done later, when he is more receptive to trying to work things out.
Did you and your husband actually talk to the organizing couple? They usually ask you specific questions, such as whether or not either spouse is seeing someone else, and if they are willing to end that relationship. (There's nothing preventing either spouse from lying, of course.) If so, did he tell them that he's only interested in ending the marriage amicably?
Much of what you are describing sounds like more than just a walk-away husband who is tired of the marriage. I've heard many of the same complaints from my wife that you have: I'm not in love with you, I've been faking it for awhile now, I'm not going to change my mind, etc.
In my case, I suspect that my wife was going through a midlife crisis when we attended Retrouvaille, and it didn't seem to have any immediate benefit for her.
There is a board on this forum about spouses going through a midlife crisis, and there are other forums for supporting people whose spouses are in an MLC.
Edit- linking to other sites is not allowed.
Last edited by Jack_Three_Beans; 01/04/1211:08 PM.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
