Like Two Sparrows in a Hurricane (2)

[MAL]

Barb,
I posted a recap last night around 6:43 that might help explain the history a little more.

I don't hold any grudges or anger at RC at all. He has been and still is a really good guy and has never done anything to be mean or intentionally hurt me. Even during the break, we still kept in contact as friends, and it went just fine.

When my dad went in the hospital and he found out, he offered to come up to be with me while we waiting to figure out what was wrong. When he found out about some scary news from my doctor, he immediately reached out to me to offer support. He truly cares about me and my family. And because of that, he earned the right to be called my friend.

He doesn't have to be my best buddy, and I don't have to be in an EA with him like an OW. I need to find the boundary with that, and I know I will.

The situation we are in now was my doing. We could have continued being friends with him never knowing how I felt. I don't want to lose his friendship because I know it's a pretty strong connection and he will always be there in some manner. He is also close to my OS, and I am close with some of his family. I don't see that changing, regardless of what happens with us.

I just need to find a way to separate my heart from it as much as I can, and I feel like I can do that. It stinks, but as Andy said, it is what it is.

I am very happy at my church and have made some of my own friends there (not because of RC). Bible study and choir are on Wednesday nights and he doesn't attend those. All of these things bring me much joy.

His friend J lives 5 hours away so I know she won't be there on most Sundays (until they resolve the 5 hour distance thing). I just need to prepare myself for the Sundays when she is there.

She is also Mormon, a completely different faith. So until she converts, I don't thing she will be a regular member of our church family. And I don't see RC converting because he is born and raised Southern Baptist all the way.

The 5 hour distance and difference in faith all buys me more time to find a balance.

Eventually I will be moved on and I don't think the Sunday or church things will be as much an issue for me. It's just tough now because it's all new and my heart is wounded. I am pretty confident that it will be okay in time. I just need to work through it.