living in limbo

[mishka422]

L2L - August? I hate to break it to you but that's isn't that long. I don't like to use MLC as a catch all reasoning for why these WAS do this, but your H's action do sound a bit characteristic in some respects. A person who goes through that kind of inner turmoil can take years to come out of it in some cases. Example, my xh took 3 years. I've heard of others who didn't wake up for 10+ years. You just never know. It depends on how deeply they are holding it and if they are doing anything on their own to deal with the issues.

I'm not telling you this to discourage you or tell you there is no point in waiting for him, I'm only trying to give you some guidelines.

Again, what he is doing has nothing to do with you and your life or the lives of your children. I found it extremely helpful to move on in my life as if my xh had died. I didn't communicate much with him. Our son didn't care one way or the other so I was pretty lucky in that respect.

Explain to me what you define 'doing the right thing' as. Doing the right thing to save your M or doing the right thing to save yourself? If it is only being done to save the M then it won't stick. You have to save yourself first. If detaching pushes him away further then that is his issue. Detaching is not ignoring and treating like a stranger. Detaching is simply not allowing his decisions and actions to dictate what you are doing in and with your own life. Capiche?