I didn't finish that thought, sorry! The point about the "retreating" is if that was a walkaway factor, then "detaching" during reconciliation runs the risk of looking like retreating, right? That's what I struggle with. One of my W's historic complaints was that I would retreat and leave her alone.

Now, I'm hesitant to GAL or detach, because I don't want to foster that alone feeling again. If connecting is the opposite of detaching, then I think the strategy needs to change in reconciliation to differentiation rather than detachment.

Accuray

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015