Indecision and the affair continues (Part 2)

[Nblost]

Just talked to H, he's on his way to the airport. Sounds like he'll be back on Sunday. (but he wouldn't really tell me and I didn't ask)

He talked to our MC again this morning. Still can't decide which relationship he wants and doesn't feel like talking will help him.

He feels like if he gives up the A, he'll be angry and he thinks he won't be able to deal with me and re-commit to me. I told him that was valid and I don't want him to come back if he doesn't want to. However, I did say I'd read cases where the straying H felt that way, but then changed as counseling started and the A started to fade. I think I did a pretty good job being detached in our conversation, although I told him that I wish we could work on things and didn't have to put our kids through this.

He said again he can't talk to me about the A. I told him that I already believe the worst about his new relationship (they love each other, they talk about getting married, etc) and I've read enough about how wonderful affairs are that I doubt he could hurt me that much more by telling me things. He didn't confirm or deny that my suspicions were right or wrong.

He feels like separation may be the answer. Once again, I said that is okay. It is interesting that when we start talking about it, the logistics seem hard for him.

H again seemed sad when we got off the phone. I feel a mix of true sadness and also a bit of relief.

I think the kids are powerful in this. Maybe I'm being overly dramatic, but I think looking your 4, 8 and 10 year old daughters in the faces and telling them you are leaving is going to be very hard. I'm sure any age is hard...but our girls are at such an idealistic stage. :-(

I do believe this may be what it takes though. So, I'm trying to stay strong.