I'm pretty sure the message on the Mayan calendar for the day of 21 December 2012 is "Remember to get your next Long Calendar from K'awiil's Office Supply Supercenter across from the temple in downtown Tikal!"
Me: 36 Her: 35 Together 7/09 Married 8/7/10 Separate rooms since at least April 11 "I've decided I want a divorce" 12/5/11 She moves out of state/files 2/7/12 Dissolution final 5/12