Guess I have to start another post. I had a talk with my w on Monday. After breafast she brought out pen and paper. My w wrote down three things of contention.
Kids My w proposed 2 days on 2days off alternating weekends. I proposed week on week off. I want to reduce the amount of drop offs. or an alternate retrofit basement and I live downstairs.(w did not like that it.)
I also suggested that she move out since she is the one not happy and I will live the kids in the home...again she did not like that. no one wants to leave their kids.
House My w wants to move out by Feb. and sell the house in the spring. I will have to fix up the house to get ready to sell. My w told me that she does not want to sell the house. I suggested that she moves in with her parents that way she will not be wasting money. My w wants to find a place to rent near my s school. I told my w if she wants to move out and we are forcd to sell the house I can't live in the same area. I will be looking in an area closer to my work. My w thinks I am being selfish. My w wants us to live down the street. I told her I can't as I am not over you and I need to heal. I don't want to be reminded of you going to the grocery store. I just want something new. I also would like to know where you will be moving to cause I will want to know where my kids will be living. My w was being really cryptic about where she was going.
Finances I made a list of bills we owe. My w stated that I hide everything. I asked did you look. cause I really don't hide it. I asked do you want me to walk you through the finances so that you can see what i have been talking about. My w said no i don't want to know about that. I said if you are going to leave It would be nice to know something about the bills to help you. My w agreed she just didn't want to look at numbers. I did give her a tidbit that all she would get out of the sale of the house would be about 125k after paying of the mortgage. Our house is over 500k. My w was alittle shocked she thought it would be more.
My w has told me that she does not want to move out. But she feels she must do something soon. cause it is over a year of this. My w thinks I can live like this for years. I probably could. As I am in a good spot emotionally. I do get upset when my kids get hurt. I do need to learn to control my emotions better at that moment. I told my w this. I told her if she stays I have no expectations on this working. I sacrifacing a little of what I want to protect my children. My w says that she is noticing. My w told me that she will always love me but you are not right for me. I said I understand that is how you feel. My w stated that you have done really well witht he kids the past year, even with me. I understand that it is not enough. I told her I don't want to fight. I don't want anything from you , except to be the best mother to these kids. My w said that she would. My w said the last thing she said about moving was that she did not know and would let me know later.
My s came upstairs so we stopped talking. I have feeling that my w is being pressured by OM to force my hand. I don't know. It might be my w's doing. Anyways I think I'm ready for her to move out actually.
H 37 W 38 M 11 T 18 D 4 S 10 Bomb 27/11/2010 Separated still living in the same house 1/1/2012 No D Papers No Separation Papers
