Any dream interpreters/DB people out there? Here's a dream my W told me about this morning and to her it was a bad dream:
She was on an outcropping overlooking our street. I was putting the trash out and I was talking on the phone to another woman. I was telling her I was suceeding in manipulating my W to where I want her.
My W typically has highly intuitive dreams and places high value on them.
Hearing this, I feel like I should back off for a spell. Her and I are together round the clock and if I thought or feared I was being manipulated I wouldn't like it. Even though we are together so much I haven't been pressuring her in any anti-DB way but my presence alone must be causing her to question where she is with me in some fashion, so I figure I quietly back away without making a big deal about it.
I know that part of the definition of detach means my emotions should not be tied to her actions, and they're not here. I still want to deal with our sitch in a sensible way that works for both of us however.
Rick, this is too flippin weird! While you were posting on my thread and then on yours. I was busy posting on my thread about a dream I had last night. Then I come over here and see you are posting about dreams.
We truly are living parallel lives!!
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
LOL ^^^ the two most recent posts I just read were about both of your dreams. I'm no psychologist but I wouldn't be concerned with either of your dream scenarios. Rick- maybe be extra aware over the next few days to see if their is any carry over but I imagine your W will forget the dream and be forced to deal w/ reality.
I think our brains are in over drive trying to figure out what we should do, how to react, how not to react, what our WAW is thinking/doing, etc..Just a complete ball of mess that I guess it can manifest in many ways through our dreams. If their is a lesson you feel you can learn from it than great but I never put too much focus on my dreams.
Rick first of all. thank you for your highly insightful post about how to approach your W. I feel that I am somewhat in the exact same situation as you. I termed it as my W doesn't want out, but she doesn't know if she wants in or how to get there.
As for the dream, I watched a Nova special on dreams awhile back and it went into much detail about the dreaming how if affects our bodies etc.
One theory is that dreams sometimes represent a dry run for worst-case scenarios so when they come up in real life we will be prepared. Under that theory, you W's dream seems to fit that mode. It was scary, but the main issue is how she approaches and reacts the dream and how you show her it was ..."just a dream."
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
Rick, this is too flippin weird! While you were posting on my thread and then on yours. I was busy posting on my thread about a dream I had last night. Then I come over here and see you are posting about dreams.
We truly are living parallel lives!!
amazing, that is funny - sci fi stuff, we're connected through The Matrix. My oldest son sees all these WAW's going on and thinks its part of everything breaking down before 12 21 2012.
LOL ^^^ the two most recent posts I just read were about both of your dreams. I'm no psychologist but I wouldn't be concerned with either of your dream scenarios. Rick- maybe be extra aware over the next few days to see if their is any carry over but I imagine your W will forget the dream and be forced to deal w/ reality.
I think our brains are in over drive trying to figure out what we should do, how to react, how not to react, what our WAW is thinking/doing, etc..Just a complete ball of mess that I guess it can manifest in many ways through our dreams. If their is a lesson you feel you can learn from it than great but I never put too much focus on my dreams.
Best!!
It was actually her dream, but I think what you say applies to her too - too much going on in her head. Thanks!
Rick first of all. thank you for your highly insightful post about how to approach your W. I feel that I am somewhat in the exact same situation as you. I termed it as my W doesn't want out, but she doesn't know if she wants in or how to get there.
As for the dream, I watched a Nova special on dreams awhile back and it went into much detail about the dreaming how if affects our bodies etc.
One theory is that dreams sometimes represent a dry run for worst-case scenarios so when they come up in real life we will be prepared. Under that theory, you W's dream seems to fit that mode. It was scary, but the main issue is how she approaches and reacts the dream and how you show her it was ..."just a dream."
Makes sense to me! I'm sure the idea of manipulation is on her mind in some fashion so I'm disolving into the background for a while. Her dream could mean anything but I'm not gonna give her a reason to interpret it as a real world threat! Thanks.
Rick, this is too flippin weird! While you were posting on my thread and then on yours. I was busy posting on my thread about a dream I had last night. Then I come over here and see you are posting about dreams.
We truly are living parallel lives!!
amazing, that is funny - sci fi stuff, we're connected through The Matrix. My oldest son sees all these WAW's going on and thinks its part of everything breaking down before 12 21 2012.
I sure hope your son realizes that is NOT the case, AND the serious philosophers of today, believe the Mayans never meant for their calendars to be "causative"...they're just calendars in effect... plus, I hope your son believes HE controls his future and his destiny. Of course he'll reflect what YOU project, right?
Show him
WE are all the authors of our lives. WE write the chapters of our books... and his life and destiny is within HIS EXCLUSIVE control, just like YOURS is...
and speaking of detachment...as interesting and fun as it may be to discuss dreams and their potential implications,
it does seem to contradict the very essence of detachment.
I mean are we Now to read into THEIR dreams?
How about what WE are DOING IN OUR LIVES???
And for one last piece on detachment that I think you've already seen (there are MANY good ones around this site so read on....)
but here is the one piece on DETACHMENT that I thought of today...
This was originally posted by Peanut. ============ II. Detachment Detachment is critical to the process of altering and repairing a relationship.
Attached, we take personally all that is said, not said, done and not done. Our ego gets wounded and we are more inclined to those actions that will undermine our very best chances of accomplishing our goals.
We can not control the actions of another. We are, however, responsible for our own actions. We are responsible for our own happiness. If we are detached from the actions of another, we can meet anger or indifference with love. Met with love we are in a position to diffuse the situation and transform it in a way that will be in alignment with our goals.
On the flipside, detachment allows us to play it cool when we do get a positive reaction from our spouse. It is a way to break the distance/pursuer cycle.
Detachment is not withdrawal. It is not the mind saying, ‘I am not getting what I want so I must pull back.’ It is the natural acceptance that I am alone responsible for how I act. I can not control another person, but I can control how I respond to them." ----------
Guess I mean, let's not spend a lot of energy on mind reading them OR dream reading...
back to YOU!!! How are those GAL?? And the 180s?
We say this for a reason. Keeps your mind off the WAS and helps detach
and that makes you happier and busier and more attractive so you are MORE likely to win the spouse back
with GAL and 180s.....regardless
you are better off either way b/c if the spouse does NOT return and you have gotten a life and done your 180s and become the best catch you can...
you are better off that much faster anyhow....and you will be happier that much faster, period.
Good luck, stay on track and stay on message....
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Guess I mean, let's not spend a lot of energy on mind reading them OR dream reading...
back to YOU!!! How are those GAL?? And the 180s?
We say this for a reason. Keeps your mind off the WAS and helps detach
and that makes you happier and busier and more attractive so you are MORE likely to win the spouse back
with GAL and 180s.....regardless
you are better off either way b/c if the spouse does NOT return and you have gotten a life and done your 180s and become the best catch you can...
you are better off that much faster anyhow....and you will be happier that much faster, period.
25 - good reminder!
BTW there is a newbie who I think could benefit from some of your hard won wisdom. He lives in Alaska and has a WAW. I thought you might be able to provide some perspective since you also used to live there. Here is the link to his thread: LINK
Rick - sorry about the hijack.
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
I'm pretty sure the message on the Mayan calendar for the day of 21 December 2012 is "Remember to get your next Long Calendar from K'awiil's Office Supply Supercenter across from the temple in downtown Tikal!"
Me: 36 Her: 35 Together 7/09 Married 8/7/10 Separate rooms since at least April 11 "I've decided I want a divorce" 12/5/11 She moves out of state/files 2/7/12 Dissolution final 5/12
