I think it's important to call them out, but of course always with tact.
There's a big difference between calling someone inconsiderate, and saying a particular action drives you apart. In the case of her getting up by herself let her know it sends the wrong signal, whether she meant to or not. This way she'll feel less attacked.
In my sitch I use humor to diffuse the situation but I realize every M is different.
The no sex strategy needs to be properly explained, tell her you realize she feels burdened by your demands, and that it might be better you two build a friendship first.
Often enough sex is used as a tool of control and manipulation. Once again not calling your w names, but it's very easy to say I'm mad so you get no sex, or in your case no passion.
As of now she gives you sex, she doesn't give herself to you. See the difference?
In a way you are accepting scraps, you are taking whatever she decides to throw your way and are expected to be grateful for it. Instead you should focus on getting the sex you want, going no sex sends a powerful message that until she can be the passionate woman you desire you are not interested.
This may force her to reconsider if losing you is worth not tackling her demons.
Here's the catch, you have to be worth fighting for. She in her mind has to be so in love with you that the thought of possibly losing you over this becomes silly.
Right now she values you enough to toss some scraps at you whenever she is not stressed. Does she value you enough to let go of her own sexual hang ups?
Personally I'm in the early stages of being valuable to my W and showing her that she is loved by a wonderful man who knows and respects himself and her, but thats the theory I'm working on.
