Purg - that is a lot to deal with. when it rains.. it pours..
you did great in your interaction w/ your H. it was hard but you kept your composure which sounds like you gained a bit of control on your part as well as maintaining your self esteem. there's something about breaking down in front of the WAS that seems to tear a way a piece of your soul. and afterwards.. if you needed to cry.. then come on here and vent away!! we're hearing your story w/ open hearts and open.. um.. keyboards? you know what i mean!
your H seems to be getting his affairs in order which doesn't necessarily mean it's about you. i imagine there's some apprehension on his part that he will be leaving everyone for a year. perhaps he is thinking about all the changes that could possibly happen and by making out separation papers.. updating will etc.. maybe he's thinking it's a way of protecting himself. i don't know. i obviously don't know the answer.. it's just a thought that occured to me.
so while he's taking care of his business.. who's taking care of yours? the answer has to be you. since he's seen a lawyer, i'm glad you will be too.
hope? there's always hope. if you have doubt.. look into those little faces that you love and adore so much! i can't imagine it would be easy to leave those 2. and while he's thinking of them.. it will be hard not to think of you as well. heck.. we haven't met and i already think about you!
take care of your health. be good to your boys. they will need you even more when H is gone.
Me:38.. H:33. Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3 M:8.. together for 11. Bomb dropped:10/17/11 Separated:11/07/11