Thanks 2thepoint, I knew exactly who you were referencing. I have read many posts by 25. Extremely helpful her advice is. Her list of all the things she did in GAL was impressive.
This is the issue for me. The more I try and distance myself and get a life, the more angry my wife gets. For example, 2 months ago I was tired of cooking so I said I was going out to get something to eat. I asked the W if she would like to come, she said no and left the house. I made a call and asked a friend/co-worker(male) to meet for dinner, which was fine. When she came home and found out I was going to meet my friend, she lost it. The F bombs came in streams, plus she kept saying "Who are you", and it is different for me to go out with friends.
So anything of that nature, going to a play, coffee house, or meeting friends for dinner etc escalates to her over the top anger. Buying new clothes, that didn't work either. I wear business causal at work, my waist has gone from a 40 to 34, so out of necessity I had to buy a few pairs of new work pants. When she saw that I had purchased the clothes she called me and asked if I was cheating on her. I said absolutely not, she then said F You and hung up.
I discussed this with Jody and she felt that my wife was really looking for my attention and at times it seems my wife does like the attention. But then she gets cold toward me. Like I said, she was in Utah on the ski trip with our sons and called once but texted everyday. When she got home she was fairly cool toward me but then opened up as she went to bed last night and talked about the trip with a lot of detail.
We just got done watching the movie "Warrior" together as a family, liked the underlying theme of forgiveness and redemption. Really gets to you. She seemed to enjoy the movie and being with me and the boys, just like old times. Then its off to her bedroom with the cold shoulder.
Anyway, I really would like to GAL. I have said for the last few years I wanted to go back to school and get my masters in mathematics. She always has had a negative view of this. She doesn't see the point and I think she has felt it would be something else to take time away from her. Any class would be fun, Latin, Literature, etc appeals to me. She would just take a negative view of it.
One of 25's suggestions was a seminar "Essential Experience". That sounds intriguing. Would 25 recommend that for me?
Another point about the ski trip is it was with her college roommate and her husband and kids. Of course my wife has been talking to her all along and naturally they tell she should leave me and move to Dallas. I thought I was friends with this couple, should I not find this surprising?
I read the book "If He Only Knew". I've read many of Sandi2 and 25's posts. You start to realize what a bad husband you have been. I mean you really start to get it. Is there a point where you feel like you don't deserve forgiveness and a second chance? Its asking too much. Like my wife has said, she has lived it for years, I've had my chances.
There are some things that I will never be able to make up to her. I know I have to make changes for me. I never want to make any of these mistakes again. My wife has even stated that I will be a great husband in my next relationship. She even said a few weeks ago that she never been treated so well in our relationship but it is too late.
What about statements she makes about the future? That maybe we could be together again in a few years? Or that she doesn't want to be married to someone else; so I ask "would you remarry me?". She said absolutely, maybe on a beach in Hawaii. How much stock do you put in that. I know you believe nothing they say and 50 percent of what you see.
That is all for now. Of course there is more to be posted later.
