Purg - what a bomb!! I am very sorry I know this is a lot to deal with. You handled it so so well. Dont lose all hope. I still believe you can turn this around. The only way to do it is to continue to work on yourself.

Purg said
" I will not hesitate to tell him that he is being selfish if he moves out and that our kids' needs must come before his. I know that statement goes against DB, but it's for the benefit of the boys so I have no problem breaking a rule."

Dont do what you say you will do. Dont call him selfish. He needs to see that you have changed especially in the toughest sitch. That you can keep calm even when things are rocky.

I dont think keeping him in the house till he leaves will benefit your kids. If you force H to stay I think he wont stay in the M. If you dont fight him you have a better chance to save the M and that will benefit your kids more.

The reality is you H is choosing to hurt your kids and he needs to see that pain before he leaves.

Def. have an attorney look at the papers. That does not mean you dont have a chance. I really believe I slowed my H down when he told me we were getting a D and I just said Okay, its up to you.

Dont lose faith. Your kids will tell your H everything DB doesnt allow you to say.

Maybe now is the time to call a DB coach.

Hang in there. You boys would want you to believe.


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M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13