Like Two Sparrows in a Hurricane (2)

[MAL]

I had my first encounter with RC at the Rec Center. I did the Tuesday text like I said I would and we decided to meet there. We tried one of the machines that I had never used before, and I am glad he was there. Sometimes it helps just having someone get you set up. He also spotted me on the weights.

I can now bench press 60 pounds, woo hoo! (It's the little things in life.)

He gave me fist bumps when I pushed and got through a tough routine. There were also several times when he wanted to touch me but I could tell he didn’t know exactly what to do. So he would do a simple squeeze on my arm or on my shoulder. It was sweet. I know he must feel really out of place, but we CAN do this! I know we can. We genuinely care about each other, so why not?

After all, toward the end of our R, we were friends more than a couple, so this is possible.

It was a nice time. He joked me about how I laugh with some of the machines (I am so clumsy and it cracks me up sometimes), and I said that life is too short to be so serious and it's good to laugh at myself sometimes. He agreed. We talked about lots of things, and friends and family. And a few times he literally just stopped at the machine and would talk to me for a few minutes. That was new.

None of the conversation was about us and he didn’t mention J’s name. The closest he got to that was talking about some things he did over the weekend. They apparently took some of the teens from church down to the game room at the beach on Sunday after church (which I didn’t see because of my quick exit). Darn, that was something RC and I had done a couple of times. Blah.

When we were done, he walked me to my car like he usually does, and we stood and talked for a few minutes. Basically, I let him lead tonight like I’ve been doing in all of our interactions. If I’m going to be his friend, then I need to learn how to do this.

We didn’t stand by the car and talk as long this time, but that’s because it was bitter cold. There was a time when I would have asked him to sit in the car for a few minutes and warm up – but we are not in that R anymore and I knew better. But focusing on what we ARE and what we are NOT, he walked me to my car and stood there to talk to me even though he was freezing. He didn't have to do that. (Maybe I have learned a few things.)

We hugged when we said goodbye as usual.

When I got home, I sent the usual text to let him know I got home okay. And he replied with a thank you.

I’d call the interaction a success. I will not lie and say it didn't hurt a little. I tried not to dwell too much on what we are NOT and tried to focus on what we ARE. It will take practice I am sure.

The workout was good for me. I haven’t been talking about that too much here, but I’ve been focusing a lot more on my health and I’ve lost about 20 pounds in the past couple of months. I’ve done that by eating less, smaller meals, and through exercise (working out, walking, and bike). It’s been pretty easy so far and I’ve managed the loss at a healthy rate. We’ll see if I can keep going because I have a long way to go.

Well, my vacation is over, and I go back to work tomorrow. Yuck!