feeling like giving up.....former DBing against OW

[imthemom]

MZ and Abby..
You guys have talked about how your 180s included a little bit of persueing on your part as that is what your H needed...out of curiosity, explain that to me.

Since i started this DBing i have thought that what was suggested was really counter productive because our biggest problem in our M was that H always pursued and i always was the aloof hard to get one. Yes, when he first dropped the D bomb i flipped and cried and said i would do what ever it took but he wasnt intetested...he was neck deep in A by then. So now were 4 months from D..a big 180 would be to pursue..but how do i do that while he is still seeing OW and im behaving "as if" the divorce is fine with me.?
Ive always felt like i went about this wrong, if i would have mildly pursued at first instead of crying...i think it would have worked better.
Just curiouse to hear peoples thoughts on this approach...